“I Never Promised You a Beer Garden…”

Once upon a time, it became obvious to me that having fun is fun…only as long as I never allow someone else to require it of me.  The simplicity of it is connected to wanting the freedom to have fun, and understanding how to make that happen.  The problem for most people that keeps them from allowing it to become a way of life, is that they feel obligated to pursuing activities driven by concepts that move them further and further away from understanding.  The motivations for people to plant gardens and work in them will vary.

Those who believe the effort is just about not having to buy their veggies at the store need to consider the economics of their time spent.  For most of us, the simple math will suggest we’d be better off pursuing other performance activity.  The same is true for those of us whose hobbies include making bread, cheese, beer, and wine.  If fun is left out of the equation, you could be pursuing a false economy.  There is work involved, not the least of which is washing and sanitizing containers and utensils, that needs to be considered if you place any value on your time at all.

An avid sportsman told me the cost of fishing and hunting, besides dues to hunt clubs, included boat, trailer, camping gear, fire arms and munitions, an extensive apparel wardrobe, licenses and fees, the expense of trained dogs, and that doesn’t account for his investment of time.  He said altogether, his cost of meat and fish last year averaged about seven hundred dollars a pound.

But if you want to hunt, fish, or garden (or make bread, cheese, beer, wine, etc.) and enjoy doing it, all the other reasons to justify the behavior, including the concept of having control over the contents of your food and beverage supply, are secondary.  In fact, if you don’t enjoy it but do it anyway, how is that different from all the other compliance regimens that require us to be aboard some agenda other than our own?

Hobbies and avocations should be fun, and not allowed to become donkey-work.  And that also goes for many other projects, even home maintenance.  If the rent for allocated storage space for ladders and tools, the cost of getting those tools, and if the value of your time is not a consideration, the only cost of repainting your house is just the price of the paint…plus spackling paste, caulking, thinners, cleaners, masking tape, drop-cloths, rags, antibiotic ointments, bandages, splints and crutches (which you will need when you fall off the ladder), along with other supplies including liquid refreshments for the painter.  You might consider these last few items to be essential if your other hobbies include making beer and wine, with a possible exception for refreshments already paid for.

For the pure fun of it, try this:

Pick out a small patch of ground (or a patio box if you have an apartment with a balcony or patio), and plant caps from beer bottles.  Then, show it to people from time to time, and act as if you genuinely expect it to grow a beer garden.  Be enthusiastic about it.  The more excited you seem, the more fun you’ll have with their reaction. One visitor was so taken by such lunacy that he left immediately to go to the store, returning with a case of beer and placed it in my garden.  I left it there.  The next visitor was invited to go with me to my garden to pick beer.   If this doesn’t happen for you, I’ll beg your pardon.

There’s just no end to the fun you can have with this sort of thing.  Next year, I’m planting the corks from bottles of expensive wines.  If a case of Chateau Latour, Chateau Margaux, Domaine de la Romanée-Conti, Dom Perignon, Giacomo Borgogno Barolo, Ghost Horse Vineyards Cabernet Sauvignon, or any Riesling Trockenbeerenauslese shows up, I’ll call you.  Then, we’ll plant Scotch bottles!

In the meantime, I’m going smile hunting.  Game warden says it’s always open season, no license needed, and there’s no bag limit.  Additionally, the more you catch and release, the more you harvest.  If you want, you can throw in a few handshakes and hugs if targeted recipients of them find it acceptable, and rock on chilluns, rock on!


Liberty, Equality…

A question often comes up about which is more important, as if the comparison was altogether fair, which it isn’t.  Do we assign freedom (liberty), or equality (impartiality–fairness) with the highest value?  No quick answer is sufficient without a good bit of thought behind it.  The same is true if you’re asked would you rather give up a hand, or an eye?  How about both hands or both eyes?  Not enough to just consider what you keep, but also what you give up.  It is complicated further if it becomes a question of the dominant hand or the dominant eye, doesn’t it?

The concept of equality as far as governance is concerned, is that we are all equal, or should be equal under the law.  In life, there are many inequities by the very nature of things that cannot become level by legislation or litigation.  In matters of thought, equality is not going to be realistic.  That would require we all have the same intellect, which of course is not the way things are.  I’m often made aware of my poverty in that department when faced with the superior thinking of quite a few others.

But without the freedom of thought, the benefits of fair and reasonable, which should be some motive for certain equalities, may not become easily realized.  Freedom of mind should allow for the opportunity to move closer to understanding, without which the pursuit of happiness will be hampered.  Laws that are not impartial or fair to all governed by them suggest some freedoms are being restricted, modified, or withheld from some, according to station determined by some prejudicial method.

Without understanding, people tend to find themselves in constant turmoil, conflict, and controversy, wrapped up in unresolvable ideological entanglements often not based on or verifiable by evidence, or from any rational thinking, for that matter.  For many situations in life, understanding and the pursuit of happiness are cotangents of the kinds of behavior supporting fairness–with all participating having some right to fair treatment as well as the responsibility to extend the same in kind.

The rights of people to be free even in their thinking is something that should be available to everyone–equal in that right with each other.  For example, we cannot have a freedom OF religion unless everyone is at the same time allowed to have a freedom FROM religion.  And so it is the freedom itself that is to be extended equally.

Some living things require oxygen and water to survive.  Those two things, quite different from each other are both important.  The one that might seem most important at any given time is whichever one is being made hardest to get.  Too much air can dehydrate an organism, and too much water could drown it.  So with that, when either liberty or equality is pushed to some extreme measure, they can become quite the opposite of each other.  The drowning man is probably not thirsty.

Hunting Golf

Looking for another player to round out your four-some?  Occasionally such an invitation comes my way, but I do my dead-level best to discourage it.  It’s not that an outing or a walk on a nice day is not enjoyable.  Not that at all.  It’s just that if I wish to subject myself to that kind of language, I’d go to church.

My favorite place at the club is the 19th hole.  I have no trouble keeping my head down in there, due to the chance of seeing someone who thinks I owe them money.  Can play the 19th straight up, and never have a bad shot.  On the other 18, I’d need too many chasers.

People ask me about my handicap, which I think is too personal.  I have many.  One is lower back and hip pain my doctor referred to as “sciatica”.   That’s not a facility in upstate New York for the criminally insane as some of you might think.  No, it’s an inflammation of what my mother calls my “psychotic nerve”.  If it weren’t for malaprops, Mama might have no props at all.  Asked what she was watching on television, and she said it was a documentary on polio bears living on the ice burgers.

Back discomfort is not the only thing that hampers me.  I’m also far-sighted, but that’s okay, as I never get very close to the pin, anyway.  I can triple-bogey a driving range.  My clubs don’t need new grips because I have Dupuytren’s contracture–well defined in my left hand and developing in my right.  No problem gripping the shaft firmly, but letting go often requires WD-40. The most comfortable golf glove for me would look like a catcher’s mitt.

Pro said my average game has more slices than a truckload of watermelons.  He criticized my clubs, saying they were intended for a younger player.  But I just think he has some prejudice against the “Nerf” brand.  Well, not all my clubs.  My driver is a Louisville Slugger.  Asked me if I’d considered a caddy. Told him I’d considered it, but for budgetary reasons, we’d settled on a Buick.

Always carry 18 balls to the course, because that’s how many I intend to hit. As for scoring, I always mark down “18”.  All I do is tee off–not just the ball, but all the other players with me.  Once I’ve hit the golf ball, there isn’t much point in looking for it, as it has sure to have gone…somewhere.  Besides, most golf carts don’t have four-wheel drive. For me to attempt a retrieval does require a current valid hunting license.  So, I just move on to the next tee box, and whack another one into oblivion.

When I’m playing conservatively, I just hit the tee.  Saves money, and doesn’t endanger as many innocent bystanders.  If you don’t mind, I’d like to use an ultra-light rod with open faced reel and four pound test line to play the water hazards.  Hope I passed the test, and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Weather Boosts Sales of Bread and Milk

Got colder.  Some places folks were warned it might snow.  In some regions of the country, it snowed a lot.  But here in the deep South, the few places that saw any snow at all was a scarce dusting that a mouse could walk through without boots.

Not saying it didn’t get a bit frigid.  It did.  The other morning, I saw two dawgs out in the front yard with jumper cables trying to get a rabbit started so they’d have sump’m to chase.  Today, it never got above freezing.  In fact, if the thermometer dropped any more degrees, I reckon I’d have to turn in my diploma.

When it gets like this, Somebody on the television makes comment about it and throws out the possibility that any precipitation that might occur could form ice crystals–in other words, snow.  Then, folks panic.  They rush to the store to buy milk, and bread, and little else if anything at all.  Did see a few folks buying candles and flashlight batteries.  But that makes sense, so it isn’t a widespread custom.

Under such circumstances, stores have trouble keeping milk and bread in stock, which is a happy time for the bread and milk venders.  On the other hand, the BBQ sauce salesman can take the rest of the week off.

I asked a man rushing into a grocers what he was in such a hurry to buy.  He said bread and milk.  When I asked why, he looked at me as if I was an idiot, and blurted out:

“Haven’t you been listening to the news?  It could snow!”

I didn’t bother him to suggest he might get some eggs, and maybe a bag of potato chips.  Chances are those suggestions could’ve overwhelmed the man.  After all, anybody over the age of five knows quite well the rules say you’re supposed to buy milk and bread if there’s any chance of snow flurries.  I guess if there is a threat of a volcano, you’re supposed to buy marshmallows?  I don’t know.

Everybody buys milk and bread, and none of them show any embarrassment about it.  When you consider the consequences of not stocking up on milk and bread, knowing such irresponsibility will eventually be found out, it’s best to go ahead and gather up all the bread and milk you can pay for.  Over time, even your on mother could find out if you didn’t, and hearing of a negligence of that order could break her heart.  After all, she raised you better’n that, didn’t she?

Nobody ever screams:

“Toilet paper!  Oh, my God, it’s gonna snow, so we’d better stock up on toilet paper!  And Books!  When does the library close?”

Equally true is that there’s no run on bananas, yogurt, canned vegetables, luncheon meats, aluminum foil, or fabric softener during this time, either.  Salt sales perk up, but not enough to effect the stock market.

I’ve studied on this.  Seems when it snows, or even might snow, folks develop a craving for milk sammiches.  So as to be of good service to the community, I offer the following recipe:

*  Get two slices of bread.  Doesn’t matter if you use king thin, whole wheat, rye, or pumpernickel, you’re about to eat a soggy sammich.

*  Scoop out a tablespoon of milk for each slice, and spread it evenly all over the surface of the bread.  If you’re really hungry, use heaping tablespoons of milk, or add an additional slice of bread, and call it a club sammich.

*  For dessert, add a little chocolate to the milk, if you have any.  But if you don’t, let it go.  Don’t go back to the store in this weather, unless you think theres a possibility they could’ve restocked bread and milk since you were there.  In that case you are obliged to go for it.

*  For variety, toast the bread.  It will still be a soggy sammich, but crisper.  Milktoast is not considered a macho food, but you don’t have to tell anybody if you don’t want to.  Your reputation is preserved just by everyone knowing you had sense enough to buy the bread and milk.

Wondering what to drink with your soggy milk sammich?  Well, considering your supply of beverages hoarded away during this emergency, pour yourself a tall glass of milk.  Not only is it all you have, it’s a tradishum.  Best I can tell, during this season that is what is to be expected.

Do not question these things.  Just go to the store, and buy your bread and milk.  If you’re successful and get there before the crowds, go home and feel smug about your accomplishment.  Later, as a reward to yourself and a nice gesture to the rest of the family, fix up a nice plateful of soggy, soaky, drippy, slurpy milk sammiches.  Then look for the signs of gratitude gushing forth from everyone else in the house who realizes if it weren’t for your forethought, they might be reduced to eating steak, potatoes, pretzels, beer, or even pie.

Hunting in Sherwood Forest

“There are many indications that the Thug often hunted men for the mere sport of it; that the fright and pain of the quarry were no more to him than are the fright and pain of the rabbit or the stag to us; and that he was no more ashamed of beguiling his game with deceits and abusing its trust than are we when we have imitated a wild animal’s call and shot it when it honored us with its confidence and came to see what we wanted.”
 ~ Mark Twain, from ‘Following the Equator’


Part One: A Reverse Polarity

As a result of other business, I was invited to go hunting with some folks, most of whom I’d never met.  In fact, the only one I’d met was the man who invited me.  The purpose of the hunt was to enjoy it, though some offer it is a needed practice to thin over-populated herds.  My reasoning is not so magnanimous; I do it for the meat.  Even so, if there was a Thug in the group, it was me.  But be assured my quarry is not other human beings, though I must admit and be aware I’m not above such depravity.

But if the truth be known, the popularity of automobiles almost makes it unnecessary to thin the herds.  Every year, far more deer are killed by cars and trucks than by hunters.  It’s almost as if the deer have lost their direction, leaving the protective cover of the forest and stepping out onto busy highways.  Perhaps their internal compasses have become misaligned with the magnetic field for some reason.  Could be blamed on sun spots, I reckon.  But for whatever reason, as hard as it is to locate them in full view in their natural habitat, seeing one lying in the median of the interstate near downtown Atlanta befuddles me.

The excursion was to take place within the confines of some private land, so the specific location will not be mentioned here.  For the sake of giving it some name, we’ll call it The “Sherwood Forest.”  That would be appropriate, as the man who arranged for me to take part will be referred to here-out as “Robin Hood,” which serves as a credit to his archery, and nothing else in particular.

Since he is so named, the other people in the story will have connecting titles, just for the pure fun of it more than any need of secrecy.  In the meantime, should any of them wish to claim their place in the story, they can certainly do so.  I’ll leave that decision up to them.

Robin and the rest of us wore traditional green, which seemed to fit in with the surroundings, as well as the lore.  In the older stories, there was some mention of “Lincoln” green, but all I saw was Ford pickup trucks.  Robin used a special bow he’d named affectionately, and any credit for success was given to her.  When he got a deer, he spoke of it entirely as if the bow had done it, and that she should feel proud of herself.  Of all the kills made during my experience with these men, the most talented placement of any shot was done with that bow.

Due to my inability to calculate distances properly, I arrived at the hunting camp quite early.  I was quite fine with that and used the time to get a little rest.  While waiting for my host to arrive, I received a couple of phone calls from folks I’d meet up with later.  They wanted to make sure I was okay, and asked if I needed anything.  That turned out to be more than just a social politeness, as it was to set the tone for the entire time I had the good fortune to spend with them.

Other than me, the first to arrive was also a guest.  We’ll call this agent “Will Scarlet” for no reason in particular.  Will brought his dawg, William Shakespeare, an educated animal with a college degree.  Shakespeare had additional credentials as well, that made my documentation and certificates, hardly more’n a mere valid driver’s license, look pathetic.

Before long, “Little John” came into camp along with his dawg.  He was no little man, which was also true of the one in a much older story.  Perhaps it’s a bit of tongue-in-cheek to call such a sportsman “little”, for he was a tall, strong man, and very multi-skilled and talented.  I think he could build anything he could visualize from just about any material you can imagine.  It is fitting to call his dawg “Jackie”.  The reasoning for it is that Jack is the English diminutive of John, so the puppy carried the title of “Jackie”, that being diminutive of Little John.

Jackie was also an educated dawg of notoriety and fame, but both he and Shakespeare would wag their tails and be sociable with me in spite of my station.  They also got along with each other, and I soon found out that Jackie and William Shakespeare were long-time friends going back to their old college days together.

The dawgs were not used in the chase, but only put to the work of tracking down an animal once it was shot.  Not only were they good at it, but also loved to get the scent of it all over themselves.  A thing like that gets you noticed, and they all seemed to want the recognition.

Another of the principal hunters we’ll call Geronimo.  That name seems out of place in Sherwood Forest, but the spirit of the man deserves some singularity here.  I can imagine him leading a charge on a steed bareback with his hair blowing in the wind behind him.  Other justification for the name was his masterful ability to camouflage his face with war paint.  Additionally, he could mimic wildlife animal and bird speak.  Once I thought a barred owl had taken up residence in the kitchen.

Geronimo also was somewhat of a master of music appreciation.  He could sing along with almost any song and do it well, knowing not only the tunes but the lyrics.  I soon found out all of the members of that camp had a taste for feel-good music, which didn’t bother me at all.

They also had a taste for good food, and were experienced at it.  These men were avid about outdoor activity and athletics.  You could tell they were accustomed to a proper training table.  But when Little John and Geronimo eat, everybody eats.  Their commitment to the exercise includes the participation of all guests present with a noticeable dividend of generosity.  During the course of several meals, I was able to get all the wrinkles out of my shirt without having to iron it.

Geronimo’s dawg, Widespread Panic, was a friendly sort, and would offer to wash your socks in his mouth, but not dry them.  He sported a red coat, and though schooled beyond the level of the average college professor, Houser (Panic’s nickname) showed great enthusiasm for playful games with the other dawgs, and a respectful attitude around people I wish most people could learn.  But that would be difficult, because people are generally not as smart as dawgs when it comes to understanding how to behave.

Robin Hood and I didn’t bring dawgs, but we were allowed to pet and enjoy those belonging to the other fellows.  And if need be, there were some free range chickens living next door that were sociable enough should there be any shortage of companionship, but there wasn’t.

Robin Hood had introduced me to the other hunters without announcing my real name, but with only a reference to my interest in Mark Twain.  So, they called me “Huckleberry”.  But I felt more like Friar Tuck in some ways, perhaps that I had a recipe for ale and had some handy.  Due to the discipline of restraints shown by some members present, I found it necessary to drink several of ’em myself.

In matters of sustenance, a regular attitude of gratitude was always expressed, and not just for hands seen busy in the preparation of it.  With no shortage of festive mood, there was still a prevailing sense of humility to even include things we could not see that could be greater than ourselves.  All hands present showed an appreciation of the nature of things, and it was apparent that the crew took pleasure in enjoying nature immensely, with full knowledge that they themselves could take no personal credit for its existence.

It was time to head out into the forest.  Before venturing beyond camp, a geography lesson was given, and as with most lessons, it went over my head with ease.  Some discussion took place about tools needed for the project.  Everybody else carried a bow, but my rod and my staff was a thirty-aught-six.  Our party enjoyed the privilege of having no run-ins with strangers in the woods, which was a sign that folks in those parts were neighborly and not subject to indiscriminate trespass.  Not only did we see no poachers, but The Sheriff of Nottingham must have been busy elsewhere as we had no run-ins with him either.

First afternoon, I was greeted by three deer, that had anyone else in the camp seen them, they would’ve met their demise.  Each one was scoped long enough for my mind to say: “Ka-Powee-Yow,” but I never pulled the trigger due to some sense of uncertainty about what was acceptable to the other members of the club.  Doesn’t matter why I didn’t, but I learned later that my opinion they deserved to walk was in error.  The next couple of days offered nothing in sight better’n those I saw right away, and I was reminded about all those things we’ve all been told about what to do when opportunity knocks.

During the course of events, I saw other critters.  The fox squirrels were plentiful and fun to watch, although compared to the regular common grey squirrels I’ve seen back home, these rascals were highly trained circus clowns.  I harvested none of these li’l monkeys, as the bullets I carried would have left a hole in ’em bigger’n they were to start with.  There were quite a few and had apparently been lured by some attractant that would also be appealing to other critters.

Another peculiar gnome that wandered up was similar in size and behavior of the O’possum, but was hairless, and wore some kind of protective vest.  After a careful description of this varmit, my friends told me it was an “Army Dildo”.  They seemed adapted to the ground, and didn’t fly or venture off to creeks and puddles, so I understood they weren’t presumed to be a part of the Air Force, or Navy.

Back at camp, we were told the “roughing it” procedure was to head down the road to a fine dining establishment under the management of King Arthur and Guinevere.  They were a delightful couple, and King Arthur was a most excellent chef.  He drew Excalibur, and carved up some tenderloin and quail prepared in such a manner that I drooled all over my shirt.   I was treated that evening well beyond my station.  When offering to assist with the tariff, Little John said no, and established the law:  “This is how we roll.”

Next morning, someone was making coffee, which is a thing worthy of a place in Heaven, and another person turned on the stereo and cranked up “Tied To The Whipping Post” by the Allman Brothers, as if no other breakfast was necessary, and they were right.  Casual “g’mornin’s” were exchanged civilly, and a variety of camo appeared for adornment amongst the crew.  Then, it was time for everyone to declare:  “Where you gonna hunt?”

Not being certain, which is a thing others notice about me easily whenever geography is the study, I offered they place me in some corner where I’d be of little distraction to the serious hunters.  Such an attempt to be humble was ignored, and they took me to prime locations where thunderous herds of deer were sure to cross well within range of the exotic tree stands erected with no shortage of luxury.  One such stand was not much less comfortable than the house I was raised in, and with a view that rivaled what you might expect from a helicopter.

Conversations at camp were interesting and fun.  There was a harmlessness in their mischief, but I suspect those present could join together to become a formidable force should the need arise. They shared tales of adventure, performance, music, business, and friends.  Stories were told of a man they called Buck Billfish.  I asked if he was coming, and Robin Hood said:

“I sure wished he was.  His interaction with these other guys, and his enthusiasm for everything outdoors is a thing to witness.  They’ve named this hunting club after him.”

But I was not going to get to meet Buck on this leg of the trip.  Maybe some other time.

A serious scientific discussion took place one evening about observations of behaviors of deer in conjunction with relative physics.  Particularly, a lot was said about the speed of light, the speed of sound, and the speed of reaction.  It was noted that arrows were not super-sonic like bullets from a high powered rifle of any calibre.

Point was made that the deer can hear the “whoosh” prior to impact, whereas a bullet would already be on target before the report of a gun could be detected.  And the theory was strongly presented that upon hearing the arrow taking flight would cause the deer to duck, same as you might flinch if you were expecting to be clobbered.

The point of such comments was to support the practice of aiming low, on the suspicion that the posture of the deer would immediately be lowered by the ducking.  Wanting to be a part of this intelligent dialogue, I said: “Duck hunting,” as if such an outburst be thought of as clever.  It was generally ignored, but a slight glance let me know I’d added nothing of benefit to the dissertation.  The only thing germane was that it is important for the trajectory to arrive where the target will be rather than to presume it will remain where you saw it before the release of the arrow, or the pull of the trigger.

Personally, I seldom attempt moving targets, and prefer they not only be standing still, but contemplating deep meditative thoughts.  In other words, I generally wait until the target has chosen to be, not so much a challenge to me, but clearly locked in a predicament that will hold it steady enough for me to draw a casual bead on it, and at close range.  In other words, I wait patiently for the appearance of stupid things, preferably muddle-headed ones behaving outside their normal nocturnal feeding habits.

The position of the deer and its anticipated moves are important.  And of course that includes any inclination to duck or veer off into a thicket.  But just as important is the position of the hunter for matters including, but not limited to, geometry.  Consideration has to be given to a number of circumstances; the angle of view in light of being left or right-handed, the effectiveness of disguise, as well as direction and intensity of the wind.

The proper positioning for a clever hunter is to be upwind of the quarry.  If a breeze comes by to carry scents of any lingering Old Spice or pipe tobacco to the acute senses found in noses of the white tail, they will become skittish and prone to hesitate stepping into a clearing in plain view.  Robin Hood told me he’d be skittish, too, if he thought there might be some critter around that intended to rip off his skin and eat his flesh.

This added reinforcement to the “duck hunting” theory.  In fact, I thought about it so much that I went home with a crick in my neck.  For days after arriving back home, it was regular for me to become wide awake by four in the morning, and hearing Lynyrd Skynyrd or The Allman Brothers without even having to turn on the stereo.

Robin Hood was a man of many talents.  He could operate gadgets that others would find cumbersome, and could climb a tree as if he had three hands, all of them nimble.  I noticed several stands were situated facing due north or due south so the rising and setting sun would never be directly in the eyes of the hunter, and always facing some smorgasbord the deer might find delightful.

My friend carried a compass for this very reason in case he decided to move to a new location, or stop short of a destination upon discovering a tree that appealed to his sense of accommodation.  On one occasion, while facing south, he detected a breeze coming out of the north that might carry his scent in an undesirable direction.  So, he performed a bit of magic: Holding his compass in view, he saw it change polarity.

Instead of it pointing in towards him, it pointed out and away.  In other words, the needle pointed south instead of north.  Well, such a thing as that has universal consequence–all of a sudden, the wind direction changed proportionately, so any deer that might step out would have no olfactory forewarning whatsoever.  It may have had something to do with being on the virtual doorstep of power lines nearby, I don’t know.  But it’s more fun to think of it as pure wizardry.

Another thing this sorcerer did prior to the hunt was to wave his arms and hands over the places he wanted the deer to appear later.  And, it worked.  Some might be convinced by this charm, but it may have had something to do with what he held in is hands that might cause the deer to waive some of their shyness.  Either way, some waiver must be coaxed out of any animal feeling pursued and hard pressed during the season.  The results seemed almost phenomenal, but once the science of it is understood, I felt comfortable believing Robin Hood is not likely to go hungry any time soon.

I managed no harvest during the first few days, so Robin Hood loaded my cooler with venison taken with his fine bow, and sent me home to see what I might do with it.  Maybe he thought if I couldn’t shoot, at least I might be able to work in the kitchen.  I would return later with some of my experiments from such, and hope it good enough to allow me another chance in the field to see if I could keep my bearings straight.

End of Part one


Part Two: Three of a Kind

Being invited to return to The Sherwood Forest boosted my spirits.  For several years now, what hunting I’ve done was in the company of a good friend and former professor of mine.  I believe I’d referred to him in an earlier letter as an educated man who had more degrees than a thermometer.  For years, he had often invited me to hunt with him in the “Enchanted Forest” where the deer and the cantaloupe play.  He was a man of honor and good will, who like Little John, could build or re-build practically anything.

Circumstances took him from us this past year, so now the only time I get to see him is in my memories, all of which fill me with a pleasant sense of gratitude.  I’ll never again go back to the Enchanted Forest where all the deer were magicians and could disappear right before your eyes, and I’ll never again get to hunt with my old teacher, who was a friend beyond question to all that found a proper place in his fellowship.  But for as long as I live, I will remember him, not just during the hunting season, but in almost everything that happens with family, friends, and adventures.  For he was all about those things.

I came back into camp about the way I did the first time, running earlier than necessary, which might help balance in some small way my habitual tardiness in all other endeavors.  Trust me, it was purely accidental, as I travelled generally with the flow of traffic.  From time to time, traffic flowed like white water rapids on the Colorado river, but I managed to keep up.

Soon Robin Hood joined me.  We were initially the only two there.  So after moving our gear around and setting up camp, we prepared to go out into the wild for the purpose of trying to fool a white tail into standing still where we could see it long enough to take a shot.  But I knew even if I did not see a deer, it would be good to just be out in the cathedral of pine trees and other nature.

Again acting as my guide, Robin placed me in the way of where things would cross, as he had a lifetime of experience with it.  His assessment was correct, and my gun barked at a mark just shy of a football field’s length away, and with prosperity.  The deer fell right where it stood, taking not so much as a step in any direction.  Often a deer will bolt and run when shot making it necessary to hunt them twice, but this’n stayed put.

I notified Robin Hood by way of a text messaging device, and he appeared as if out of nowhere to help me load it and carry it to the abattoir, stopping off at the gittin’ place to git some bags of ice.  Once we got to the cleaning station, I got out my cutting tools, but was told they wouldn’t be needed.  Robin Hood said he’d skin the deer and quarter it, and had his own knife.  Told me my job was to shoot.

He then went about business with a well honed blade that was so deliberative and focused that barely a morsel remained on the carcass that would accommodate the stray cat that had taken up residence nearby.  In fact, I’d imagine we’d hear buzzards blaspheming throughout the next day, as little was left for them to relish.

On the way to the proper mortuary for such remains, the right front wheel of his pickup truck announced itself to be in dire need of reformation.  The tire held air just fine, but a noise indicated some maintenance would be in order the next morning.  So after coffee, we decided the first order was to get our bearings, and a tub of grease to pack ’em in.  It would not be our only trip to gittin’ places.

During the procedure, I jabbered on about various and sundry nonsense in a way Robin Hood was not accustomed to hearing while trying to work.  The result was that the bearings were put into place in such a manner that they could not work properly, so we called out all of our collective tools in order to bear down hard and pry them back apart so he could do it all over again in an orthodox manner.  Mostly, my part in all of this was to observe the bearing of bearings and watch out for bears, while Robin Hood got his bare knuckles lubricated almost as much as the parts he was working on.

Once the wheel was returned to the axle, it was soon discovered that the brakes were now in a bind, so the wheel came back off for further adjustment.  A man who goes down the road wants to be able to stop when necessary, and Robin Hood couldn’t bear the thought of that becoming an unaffordable luxury.  You don’t want the brakes to break.

He got back on the ground to do the breakdance with the brakes, and I was allowed to observe and offer critical commentary.  I think he brought out his compass, and let the wizardry of the needle direct his movements.  Other’n the compass he did the job with a pocket knife, a rubber hammer, the blunt end of a tire tool, a pair of tweezers, a plastic spoon, the traveler from a trailer hitch, and a wad of paper towels big enough to choke an elephant.

With the aid of my distractions, he commented that the time spent on this minor repair job was similar to what it would take to overhaul the entire engine.  But the engine was fine, so we didn’t.  Not sure we even had the right tools for such a task any way.  With bearings brought to bear, our bear hunting was successful; but bear in mind, it was too chilly to go bare hunting, not that we ever intended to.

After a well deserved rest with me talking ninety miles an hour all the time, Robin Hood decided we should return to The Sherwood Forest and resume the hunt.  By then, Little John, Jackie, and another dawg named Huckleberry Finn were back at camp.  Finn, it seemed, had thought about going to school like the other scholarly dawgs, but apparently had only given it brief consideration to date.

While Little John said Finn had lots of things to learn, I noticed eating was not one of them.  In fact, he was quite good at it.  What he didn’t eat he would shred so others would have an easier time if they wanted a chew.  Saw where he’d done that to a roll of toilet paper, and I immediately went to make sure there was still enough on hand to take care of business.  And like all other necessities at that camp, there was.

Maybe it was the knack for mischief that attracted me, but in short order that dawg and I hit it off well.  Perhaps it was partially due to our shared understanding about pedigree, rank and status.  Also the “Finn” part connected us as well since the other guys called me Huckleberry.  But in fairness to the other dawgs in the camp, all of them would be welcome at my house whether they liked to read Mark Twain or not.

Little John spoke of a banquet later as if some reward for any success we might have.  Additionally, not wanting to be selfish, he headed out to the woods to make sure all the critters we hoped to see would have something to eat as well.  The point of it was not just to feed them, but have them come by and show their enthusiasm for it.

My guide took me to the place where I’d first seen deer and didn’t shoot, in order to give me the chance to redeem myself in that spot.  Before the week was out, I’d need to again go to confession and plead for redemption, but not that afternoon.  As the sun began to position itself on the horizon, the deer I’d let walk before came back as if to mock me, but their presuppositions about my shyness and intentions were significantly misunderstood.

The gun barked loudly, but instead of the quarry dropping in its tracks, it spun around and ran off into the thicket in such a way as you expect from a healthy athlete.  It ran quite a ways, and it took some doing for me to track it as light was getting scarce.  My eyes are not young as they once were.

In spite of my aging and weaker vision, I had made the kill some one hundred-fifty yards out, so not all was not lost.  Dragging that rascal out of the woods and over logs and through underbrush, uphill all the way, was not the most fun part but doable.  By the time I was back to the clearing, I felt I’d run a marathon.

The report of my rifle brought in the guide to take charge, and off again we were to the cleaning area.  In my mind, I heard Dollie Parton singing:  “Two does down, they’re laughing and drinking and having a party.”  Maybe that’s not exactly what she sang, but that’s what I heard, and pretty much what was going on.  Once again, Robin Hood made work of it so the buzzards would have to apply elsewhere, as little remained for them unless they intended to make leather or soap.

Again, my job was to watch, and pay attention to the biology lessons being offered.  Also on occasion I’d have to make a run up to the gittin’ place to git more ice.  I soon proved that geography was not my only weakness, as simple math involving weights and measures also left a lot to be desired.  It wasn’t that the ice was too expensive, but rather my mistaken opinion that three gallons would would be sufficient to fill a sixty quart box, and a borrowed box at that.

Next day, I’d have to go to the gittin’ place to git more boxes, even though Robin Hood graciously offered to let me use his.  Everybody knows if you intend to pick cotton or beans, you have to take sump’m to put it in.  The same is true with venison.

That evening we were visited by a nobleman from a neighboring shire, and were coaxed to investigate an eating establishment hidden down in a valley, but named for the top of a tree.  Go figure.  More than enough was brought to the table including a couple of bowls of Army Dildo eggs that tasted a lot like stuffed Halloween peppers.

Soon, it was late enough to pretend we were sleeping so to be ready for the next morning’s hunt.  During the course of the evening, Jackie and Finn would come around to check to see if any toes were poking out of the cover enough to need licking.  As it approached coffee time, the puppies increased their due diligence to make sure we didn’t oversleep.  Their efficiency paid off, and we all got up in time to smell the coffee and even drink a cup.

Word was that Buck Billfish was coming, and from all they told me about him, I was eager to meet him.  News was he would come in the next day.  In the meantime, we had some hunting to do.  Without further delay, I got in my truck and did the best I could to keep up with Little John, who could find short cuts in a straight line, and didn’t lolly-gag around when it comes to getting somewhere.

This time Little John had taken over the task of being my guide, and took me to a spot where the sought-after quarry was sure to come out.  The guide was correct, but evidently, my cockiness resulting from the successes of the last two days got the better of me.  The morning fog cleared, but I “mist” just the same, attempting a shot that would only be for very close range.  The deer took off running and bouncing showing no sign of having been anything but scared.  Examination of the area convinced me I’d missed it entirely: no blood, no hair, not even a sign of a stumble.  I walked deep into the woods following nothing other than a hunch it had gone in that direction.  Nothing.  Obviously, I hadn’t even scratched it.

Robin Hood came over to help me check the surrounding few acres to add some certainty to it being a legitimate miss, and not just have some wounded beast roaming around.  All indications were that either the deer was quite lucky, or else some error was to be blamed on me, or the gun.  Shortly, we set up a target range, and the rifle was given acquittal.

I paid the fine for my act of clumsy negligence.   I might as well have attempted a trick shot from behind my back expecting the bullet to just drop in its ear for all the good my shot did.  All I did was make a racket and spend a bullet.  I thought about “duck hunting” for a minute.  Maybe the deer ducked, I don’t know for sure.

I bowed my head and promised to do better if allowed pardon.  The parole was conditional on driving my truck to get coolers, and Robin Hood went with me to not only navigate, but to provide adult supervision.

First place we looked had a nice cooler, but the proprietor wanted a year’s salary for it so we decided to check elsewhere.  The second place had exactly what was needed, and would spare me from having to file bankruptcy.  The parking lot outside the store was immense, and at first I wasn’t sure where we’d parked.  So, being humble and not overtaken with pride, I asked a couple of folks coming in as we were going out if they remembered where I’d parked my truck.  They laughed; said they didn’t, but pointing in the general direction of the lot, offered it was probably “out there somewhere.”

It is not an unusual strategy for me to expect assistance, as when it comes to direction. I’m seldom sure about anything other than I’m standing where I’m standing, and don’t ask me to tell you where it is or how I got there.  If it were not for that basic flaw, destinations might have become almost as much a part of my life as has been the journey.  So yes, I’ve often asked total strangers if they knew where I’d parked my truck.  On one occasion, a younger lady, sensing the role I was playing of a senile old man was convincing enough, replied to me:

“Sir, I don’t know where you parked, but if you like, I’ll be glad to help you find it.”

I’ve lead a charmed life, and meet up with kind and helpful people often.  Thoughts along those lines fill me with some sense of gratitude for meeting up with the folks who were sharing their hunting camp with me.  Those men are sump’m else, and withheld no charity whatsoever.  Further, there wasn’t a thing they expected in return. The lesson from that, at least for me, is there is a wholesomeness in living in such a way to cooperate and be helpful for no reason other than it is the right thing to do.

Afternoon came, and it was time again to try my hand at hunting.  With Robin as my guide, I went back to the same place I’d gotten the the second deer.  The wait seemed forever, and I felt my eyelids getting heavier than a double load of wet laundry.  Somehow, I managed to remain awake enough to see what I came to see.  Just before dark, deer came out again, but this time at the farthest end of my field of view.

Remembering my earlier miss, I took great care, even down to monitoring my breathing.  The shot rang out, and a bullet flew about two hundred, twenty-five yards.  It found its mark.  As did the first one two days earlier, this one laid down on the spot, and I didn’t have to trail or chase it more than two or three inches.

The guide once again popped up, or I’d still be out there wondering what to do next.  Back to base camp we went, stopping only for some bags of ice.  I got the recommended number this time.  A wench hauled the game up in the air, and Robin Hood drew his sword and went right to work on my number three. Three of ’em in so many days.  I’ve never done that before.

The other two kills were also mature does, one having enough fat to make it through two winters on a diet.  The third one had some serious fat, too.  She was, I think, even more mature than the first ones, definitely a senior, and noticeably the largest.  Her head was disproportionately large for the size of her body.  Little John said her head looked like an old buck’s, which was true.

When I say she was a senior, I mean she was probably within three or four months of being able to draw Social Security.   Only had about two teeth left, and they were ground down due to lots of time spent eating acorns, field corn, dirt, tree bark, and rocks.  Looked like her tongue had calluses on it.

About that time, Geronimo came up.  He greeted everyone with honest enthusiasm, and showed signs of pleasure that I’d had a good hunt.  Everybody seemed glad to see everybody else.   A prominent jovial feeling was in the air, and everyone present could sense it.

Once inside our lodge, the other hunters showed some appreciation for the venison pastrami I’d brought back with me.  The fact that I had it at all implies there was enough time between the first hunt and the return to cure and smoke some roasts.  Processing meat, like any other kind of work, can be exhilarating if it is something you enjoy doing.  Many folks spend their entire lives never knowing how to view work in that light.  My friend, Vinny Verelli has often said:

“If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.”

After some work and some celebration, plans were made to again visit King Arthur and Guinevere at the round table for a sumptuous meal and fine fellowship.  The night was long, allowing little time to sleep, but all parties rose early the next day anyway and to the sound of some pitter-patter on the roof.  The rain stopped momentarily, so we headed back into the forest.

The cloud cover didn’t look as if it would blow away so the poncho was added to my backpack.  When it comes to having rain gear when it’s raining, I am a slave to fashion.  And as the weather front progressed, it turned out to be a wise decision.

With all the stealth and silence of a firetruck on an emergency call, I crept through the woods in the dark to my stand.  I was yet barely awake and not sure of my bearings altogether.  First time I bumped into a tree, I think I apologized to it out loud, which is not a good thing when you’re supposed to keep quiet.

Finally in the stand, I awaited sunrise.  It came, and in about an hour, so did the rain.  But the deer scheduled to work my area didn’t even clock in.  Maybe their compasses had reversed polarity.  I waited an hour after their appearance should have occurred, according to my schedule and comfort zone, then came down to see if I could find where I’d parked my truck, and without anybody to ask.

As I rounded a curve in the path, I could see a clearing ahead that gave me hope.  I knew my truck wouldn’t be too far from that point.  In addition to the clearing, I noticed Robin Hood was heading in my direction.  Besides his magic compass, he must be clairvoyant to know I’d sensed it was time to head back to camp.  Then, maybe he was tired of sitting in a tree getting rained on, I don’t know.

Even though neither of us shot a deer that morning, I think he was a bit relieved to not have to clean one.  Back at base, a second cup of coffee was brewed by Robin Hood himself.  It was a pleasant brew, and we didn’t have to chew it like the pot I’d made earlier.

I had stopped at the gittin’ place to git some more ice on the way back in.  It would be needed to top off all the coolers.  This time, against the educated advise of my guide, I made the estimate myself, not wanting to come up short again and have to make a second trip.  So naturally I got twice as much as was needed, but it was on sale, so no real harm done.

Robin Hood took charge of re-packing the meat, and I was able to return the borrowed cooler, even though he would have let me take it with me.  Latest report was that Buck Billfish wouldn’t be coming in until later, and I had a bit of a drive yet ahead of me.  I was going to miss meeting him this time, but maybe I’ll get another chance.  I’ve been lucky about getting second chances.

Geronimo and Little John, most cordial and kind, wished me safe journey, as did Robin.  I said goodbyes to them and to their fine dawgs and headed home, without need of a compass, not that I know how to read one any way.  On the drive home, I thought about the events, and thought I might write about it.  Some things were left out unintentionally, and some things remain unsaid on purpose, but nothing that should worry anybody.  I fell in behind some travelers who seemed to be in a hurry, so I made fairly good time getting home.

Once back, my wife seemed glad to see me, which is a good thing.  To ever be otherwise would be something of unimaginable difficulty for me.  I was glad to see her, too, but I always am.  We exchanged reports of the last few days, then I let the puppies in the house to see if they remembered me.  They did, and acted happy about it.

As is expected from dawgs when new smells come into nose range, they quickly turned to the business of inspecting.  Since I’d been in contact with people and dawgs they’d never met, and handling venison while re-packing coolers, every inch of me was a bonus for their nostrils to enjoy.  And they went at it with a passion for quite a while.  I could hear Lila Bea’s scent glands clicking like a Geiger counter, and I thought Sir Benson Zipper Dee Doo Dah was going to lick all the camouflage off my hunting boots.

My hands, my clothes, and especially my footwear were given serious attention from both of those curious puppies.  I understand it is the way dawgs read the newspaper, and they read every section of it, including the funnies.  A fantastic fun time was had while I was out on an adventure, but ain’t it just flat-out wunnerful to get back home?  Without any doubt in my mind at all, I know you know it is!


The Very Nature of Things

Neurologist Robert A. Burton has recognized through scientific discovery that brain stimulation/mapping of the temporal lobe has uncovered all kinds of new information about motor movement, emotions, and decision making.  Burton has determined that some of what we “think we know” comes from the “voices” within our own limbic system.

I’m sure you’ve spoken with people who truly believe the stories about space aliens abducting humans, and perhaps insist it has happened to them.  Even though they seem to be so certain in their beliefs, a little bit of knowledge about our real universe and some common sense tells you they are probably delusional.

“Despite how certainty feels, it is neither a conscious choice nor even a thought process.  Certainty and similar states of “knowing what we know” arise out of involuntary brain mechanisms that, like love or anger, function independently of reason.”

~ from the preface of:

“On Being Certain: Believing You Are Right Even When You’re Not”

 by Robert A. Burton, MD (Neurology)

We’ve all experienced opinions that, when placed in juxtaposition with a changing background, will take on textures and flavors not recognized earlier.  And for that reason, we need to continue to look.  The alternative is to accept some presupposition, and not even an original one, as if it were fact.  And that, of course, is not a wise thing to do. All of us know that, but people by-pass that logic every day, even when they know better.  Then, sometimes, they don’t know better, and listen for some explanation that satisfies them, and calms their anxieties about the unknown.

My father was born in a world that, for the most part, believed The Milky Way Galaxy was the entire Universe.  Science, through the process of moving ever closer to understanding, soon proved that conclusion to be wrong.  In fact, there are billions of galaxies, and The Milky Way is neither at the center of things, nor the biggest of them by any stretch of the imagination.

“Maggots from meat” was a misconception born of the erroneous theory of spontaneous generation, similar to the way it was thought that grapes became wine due to some magic trick performed by Bacchus or Dionysus.  The idea of spontaneous generation offered an explanation, but it was not scientific; it was not even presumed to be natural, and it was not true.  Prior to Leeuwenhoek’s discoveries of the world of microbiology, almost every theory or explanation about life was at best, born of ignorance.  And please don’t presume I mean stupid, for ignorance is something else entirely.

Disease and pain were presumed to be caused by demons and witches, and to this very day, some people still believe it.  Since they “feel” safe accepting what they’ve been taught, they investigate nothing on their own without prejudice, without knowledge, and without understanding.  Although that is a sad thing, it’s quite common.

The purpose of science is to move closer to understanding.  And that often challenges older explanations that were derived without understanding.  People believe all kinds of things, and they will kill you because of what they believe.  But for what people believe to be true to in fact be true, is not now, nor has it ever at any point in human history been required.

To argue in defense of what is accepted as true even though it isn’t, was the reason Galileo was convicted of heresy by the Spanish Inquisition for noticing Venus orbited the sun and not the earth.  As we all (hopefully) know now, the Inquisition was in error, but Galileo, even though he told the truth, was forced to deny it in public, or face execution.

To acknowledge discovery takes nothing away from lessons about ethical behavior.  It does, however, often challenge preconceived notions about the details of stories used to make the point.  We live in a most amazing universe, and the more we learn about it, the more we understand about nature.

Copernicus theorized the sun was the center of our planetary system back in the 15th century.  In the next century, Galileo proved the heliocentric idea was true, and went even further to note the sun itself rotated.  This was quite a leap from everything believed to be true before, and consequently, by insisting his findings to be factual got him into hot water with the College of Cardinals and the Pope.  While this information is considered common knowledge today, there are still those who find it to be heretical.  But don’t you think it would be silly to throw out the scientific findings, and declare it okay to just accept whatever belief a person chooses to have on the matter?  Of course you would.

If a thing appears phenomenal to me, and quite a few things do, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t natural.  It just means that I might not understand the nature of it.  But at no time does nature cease to be nature just because I misunderstand it.  All the evidence we have about “creation” exists in nature.  So, without any brilliant leap required, it would make sense that what we can discover and understand about “creation” would involve studying and and learning more about nature itself.

And for those who wish to connect with the mind of “God”, they might try looking at the nature of things “created”, and to understand what can be discovered about the process itself.  After all, that would have to be exactly the truest revelations, if there be any at all.  The alternative would be to be entirely dependent on explanations offered by people who knew very little about the nature of anything, but made up explanations about everything.

There are many wonderful lessons that can direct us towards ethical treatment of others found in books, many of them religious books.  To attempt to deny that would be silly.  There are also good lessons to be learned from parables and fables told for that purpose without the presupposition that the story itself depicts something that really happened.  For example, I can get several lessons on several intellectual levels from a story by Aesop, without even once believing there was a talking fox that liked grapes.

I can also learn from some of the lessons in the Old Testament (most of which was written down for the first time during the Babylonian Captivity) without presuming there is a way for a man to sell his daughter into slavery that would please the Deity.  Or, for that matter, slaughter innocent men, women, and children, enslave some of them, steal their land and property, authorize some sovereign or monarch to take for himself far more than he could possibly need while others around him suffer.  It’s rather interesting when you read old scriptures from most of our modern religions (and I have) that one of the saddest delusions man has ever conceived of is that oppression of other people is authorized and approved of by the Deity.

One conclusion, if there be one, is that Charles Darwin opened some windows that can help us understand the nature of things, and was brave enough to publish his findings.  So it seems to me, as we move closer to understanding, we should embrace discovery rather than to deny it just because it doesn’t fit well within the confines of preconceived notions that occurred in the minds of ancients who didn’t have the benefit of knowing.

Think if you will about all the all the ancient theories of how the sun provided seemingly perpetual light and heat without any understanding of nuclear physics.  Isn’t it possible that some of those old theories, regardless of how noble or moral the person who came up with them happened to be, were not quite…the truth?  Although most of us give lip-service to the idea of growth, development and learning, sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to let go of an idea that makes us comfortable, even in light of empirical evidence that points out the error of its logic.

I embrace science as an ongoing process, not stagnated or trapped wherever it lands on any given day.  There is a peacefulness to be found by wanting to move closer to understanding rather an run away from it.  And when we do that, the benefits that can be had from being open to new ideas, thus willing to cooperate, can lead us to marvelous solutions to problems, where the prospects of hope are almost boundless, hampered only by the limits of our imagination.

The complexity of it, I suppose, may well be lodged somewhere inside wanting to know the importance of understanding what our imagination is made of.  Neurologists, such as Dr. Burton, are beginning to show us how to do that.  Yet with all the accomplishments made thus far, what we don’t know is still bigger than what we do.  So if we consider it even in the simplest of linear terms, I don’t reckon we’ve reached the end point, no, not yet, not yet at all.

Where are the Independently Dominants?

“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” ~ H. L. Mencken

“A man who is not afraid is not aggressive, a man who has no sense of fear of any kind is really a free, a peaceful man…What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”   ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

“…let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself…”                     ~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt


(The following commentary has resulted from a series of exchanges, both through some LinkedIn groups, and personal email with Chris Aristides Pappas.   You can find him on the internet, and read some of his thoughts if you wish.  You can also see the footnotes at the bottom of this post that includes some of the things he’d told me.  

Our correspondence was prompted by a keen interest I began to have for his views about biological social archetypes–specifically Dominants, Dominators and Phobics.  For those of you who have read some of my other posts about motivation, know I have taken a considerable interest in the psychology behind what prompts decision making.  

With that, however, we cannot overlook some anthropological and biological facts and theories that lead up to the development of a social order in the first place.  I owe a great deal to Chris, who is a scientist with quite a broad spectrum of interests, including nanotechnology.  That he has chosen to share some thoughts with me is absolutely amazing.)


Hominids have been hard-wired for fear for millions of years.  From the early beginnings in Africa, it was not only the predation of other mammals that might eat them, but that some of this predation occurred in the darkness of night, leaving the hominids at some disadvantage.  There were many predators in Africa back then, and still are*.

Besides direct predation that included other primates such as chimpanzees and baboons, our early ancestors also had to deal with quite an array of venomous creatures that are ubiquitous in their environment: primarily spiders and snakes.

In North America, there are a few species of venomous snakes, and a small enough number for most people to be able to know what they are, and quickly recognize them as rattlesnakes, copperheads, coral snakes, and the cottonmouth water moccasin.  Early hominids faced a much larger threat**.

In nature, the independently dominant can take care of itself and its own; can adapt, can cooperate, and can stand in the face of much adversity.  It can take care of business, so to speak.  This is seen in all species, both plant and animal.  In nature, the phobics die off.  In nature, there are the independently dominants and the phobics, but the gene pool favors the dominants since the phobics cannot take care of business, and often cannot figure out how to cooperate or adapt.  The topic thus far is around natural conditions, and not the contrivances of processes such as systemic linkage, institutionalization, socialization and social control, or the domestication of other species.

As homo sapiens sapiens evolved, some clever phobics began to bully other phobics, often not recognized as bullying, and became dominators over them.  It’s important at this point to not confuse dominators with true predators, as predation is a part of the natural order of things.  Dominant predators tend to survive; phobic predators do not.  And in the natural world, dominators as are described here, don’t exist.  Among human beings, dominators that prey on their own kind are best described as cannibals***. 

Dominators do not survive very well on their own, and need to have slaves and armies do their work for them.  Dominators share a bit of the produce of the slaves back with the slaves in amounts sufficient to keep enough of them alive, and able to to the dominator’s work.  Dominators exist in hierarchies, and are often dominated over by other bullies.

This arrangement allows the phobics, who would otherwise die off, to over populate and create potentially unsustainable ecological situations.  It is also the structure that, backed by ideologies created by dominators, even allows for the possibility, as well as the probability of all out war.  Whichever dominator rises to the top at the end of the war is allowed to authorize the writing of the history of it, claiming themselves to be the good guys. Of course two motivations surface whenever you are dealing with what is behind revisionist history: the potential capability to shape and control ideological influence, as well as political influence.  These behaviors are always proprietary to dominators.  The phobics won’t know how, and the independently dominants will have no need of it.

It is worthy to note that dominators do not like independently dominants, because among other reasons, they don’t make good slaves.  When independently dominants, who are often respected by other independently dominants and some of the phobics, begin to gain a following, it is common for the dominators to gang up on them to either discredit them, or to destroy them–kill them if necessary, as history says was what happened to Socrates, The Christ, and many others.  And it is for that reason, though often well respected and trusted at local levels, they never rise to significant power in either state or national hierarchies.

In the meantime, Henny Penny, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey, and Turkey Lurky will always believe Foxy Loxy is showing the best short cut to take to safety.  And to follow Foxy openly makes them feel worthy, and to stand right behind him urging the others to follow as well makes them feel significant.  That they are significant, worthy or safe from anything they have been made fearful of, are all illusions.  And all their thinking on the matter, always passive and never self-reliant, becomes a system of belief disorders that always allow others (such as Foxy Loxy) to make up mind laws, and convince the phobics they are real.

The important thing to realize is that dominators do not want the phobics to be well educated.  They do not wish them moving closer to any understanding of things other than what they’ve been told to accept.  The dominators want compliance; demand compliance, and when their own authority to insist upon it is insufficient, they present their mind laws to be from a higher, even supernatural power.

Dominators prefer their illusions over those of the dominated.  And, they do not care to allow the teaching of what they wish to remain unlearned.  This is the root of hierarchies, and the prejudicial development of attitudes of moral superiority by station.  It is also the fundamental reason behind all oppressive behaviors of one person, or groups of persons, over other individuals and groups of people.

And while it is presumed by many to be revelations of the supernatural, fully understood only by designated dominators, no proof of it is ever required.  The phobics are kept fearful of what they themselves cannot explain, so it is easy for them to accept the explanations given to them by their “betters”.  Because of this, most folks never come to the realization that one of the saddest delusions man has ever conceived of is that oppression of other people is authorized and approved of by the Deity.

The reason it works is, a few of the phobics often don’t recognize they are being oppressed, but instead, see themselves as being kept safe.  Others know quite well they are being oppressed, but other fears, such as not knowing what to do about it, cause them to at least try to project the appearance of being compliant–especially when they suspect they’re being monitored.

 The character, “Huckleberry Finn”, was based on a real-life boyhood friend of Samuel Langhorne Clemens.  As I’m sure many of you recall, Huck was neither a phobic nor a dominator.  And because of that, his general resistance to conformity was presumed to be problematic by those that would have his submission.  He knew how to catch a fish, build a lean-to, build a raft, and generally find ways to fill his personal needs.  Yet he was not a bully dominating over other people in the story.  And he would regularly remove himself from the presence of those who would want power over his choice of actions and personal behaviors.

The real life boy grew up to be a man others could trust and depend upon, and became somewhat of a pillar of the community back home, but never rose in any power beyond that.   Over the years, some have had the pleasure of knowing a few, though probably only a very few, “Huckleberry Finn”s.

So, where are the independently dominants?  Perhaps not where you’d think they would be.  Though not in every case, they are often independent scientists, scholars, doctors, artisans, and those who have mastered various art forms, crafts and skills.  You might traditionally look for leadership in high places, but find them missing.  Many of those in high places hold office at the pleasure of other dominators.  Yet as they themselves are dominated, due to the corrupt nature of sponsored politics itself, they often take on the same role as would effect the public at large.

Folks often refer to the game of life.  But if it’s your life, you have to consider who’s allowed to keep score.


“Evidence offers that the other apes and primates had well established themselves in niches prior to the appearance of the earliest hominids. Upon inception, the earliest hominids were the odd man out. Chimp and baboon groups defend their territories against other groups of their own kind and other primates. Clearly, the smaller weaker hominids could neither challenge these nor tarry overlong in their territories. They certainly could not compete with these nor even with the monkeys in the trees. This allows that they may have had to pursue a nomadic existence. Our feet offer some consideration of this. I do not recall any discoveries of hominids sans these. Of course, what early evidence we have found has been very incomplete. A skull cap here, a knee joint there.

But Chimps and baboons offered an even greater risk; predation.  Certainly, the leopard was the greatest risk to Hominids as it was to all large primates. Even young gorillas were on the menu. The leopard has a wide appetite, but primates are easy. Of these, hominids were the easiest. Predators are not trophy hunters and the weakest are always a target.  Leopards are disproportionally strong. A good sized leopard can easily kill an eland. These are horse sized antelope. They have two long sabre-like horns with serrated edges. They weigh 1500 lbs, 682 kgs. A leopard can then haul it over 30 feet, 9.2 meters, up a tree so that lions can’t take their kill, or them.  Primates, even groups, are entirely at risk from leopard predation. Another serious risk is an ancient cousin of the modern cats, the hyena. Both are effective predators, day or night.

However, chimp and baboon harassment and predation of Hominids would have left hominids little respite. Vigilance could not be relaxed and anxiety would be relatively continuous. Most prey species enjoy periods of relaxation when the predators are sated. Hominids may have been under greater pressure. A chimp or baboon is a serious and even lethal threat to a fit modern man. Until the Heidelberg-Rhodesian man varieties, most earlier Hominids were much smaller.

Bonobos eat a variety of foods, including fruits, nuts, seeds, sprouts, vegetation, and mushrooms. They eat various parts of plants, including the leaves, flowers, bark, stems, pith, and roots. They also eat small mammals, insect larvae, earthworms, honey, eggs, and soil.  Unlike chimpanzees who form hunting parties to capture monkeys, bonobos do not aggressively hunt mammals, but they have been observed to capture duikers (small antelope) and flying squirrels.  Chimps eat every part of a monkey, including the brain.  Chimps also kidnap and eat young baboons.  Baboons eat seeds, fruits, meats, birds, small mammals and even antelopes.

I am quite sure that early hominids, young and adult, were at serious risk of predation by chimps and baboons.  Interestingly, this may have fueled a fear of others that appear like us beyond that from normal territorial competition between groups of the same species.  This all allows that hominids were under multiple pressures that suppressed their numbers for almost four million years. It is notable that early hominid remains are rare. Even many extinct mammals have left far more evidence of their existence.” ~ Chris Aristides Pappas


** “Immediately following is a list of venomous snakes from Africa, where Hominids spent most of their existence. Some of these are also found in surrounding “out of Africa” areas. Recall that H. sap was only the latest of the Hominids to trek “out of Africa”.

Boomslang Dispholidus typus.  Distribution: Found throughout sub-Saharan Africa.

Bush viper Atheris squamiger.  Distribution: Most of Africa, Angola, Cameroon, Uganda, Kenya, and Zaire.

Egyptian cobra Naja haje.  Distribution: Africa, Iraq, Syria, and Saudi Arabia.

Gaboon viper Bitis gabonica.  Distribution: Most of Africa.

Green mamba Dendraspis angusticeps.  Distribution: Most of Africa.

Horned desert viper Cerastes cerastes.  Distribution: Arabian Peninsula, Africa, Iran, and Iraq.

Mole viper or burrowing viper Atracaspis microlepidota.  Distribution: Sudan, Ethiopia, Somaliland, Kenya, Tanganyika, Uganda, Cameroon, Niger, Congo, and Urundi.

Puff adder Bitis arietans.  Distribution: Most of Africa, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Lebanon, Israel, and Jordan.

Rhinoceros viper or river jack Bitis nasicornis.  Distribution: Equatorial Africa.

Sand viper Cerastes vipera.  Distribution: Northern Sahara, Algeria, Egypt, Sudan, Nigeria, Chad, Somalia, and central Africa.

Saw-scaled viper Echis carinatus.  Distribution: Asia, Syria, India, Africa, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Jordan, Lebanon, Sri Lanka, Algeria, Egypt, and Israel.

Following is a list of venomous snakes that were waiting for any Hominids that managed to trek “out of Africa” at any time.

Levant viper Vipera lebetina.  Distribution: Greece, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Turkey, Afghanistan, lower portion of the former USSR, and Saudi Arabia.

Palestinian viper Vipera palaestinae.  Distribution: Turkey, Syria, Palestine, Israel, Lebanon, and Jordan.

Common Adder or European Adder (Vipera berus).  Distribution: very common throughout much of Europe. It is also the only poisonous snake occurring in the United Kingdom.

The Aspic Viper, Asp Viper or Asp, European Asp, European Viper, Jura viper (Vipera aspis).  Distribution: Europe: northeastern Spain, Andorra, most of France- inckuding in the Ile de Re and Oleron islands -, Monaco, Italy, the islands of Elba, Montecristo and Sicily, San Marino, Switzerland; northwestern Slovenia and extreme southwestern Germany – southern Black Forest.

Long-nosed Adder or Nose-horned Viper (vipera ammodytes).  Distribution: Occurs in south-eastern Europe, from Hungary and Austria to Italy, Romania, former Yugoslavia, and northern Albania.

Pallas’ Viper (Akistrodon halys).  Distribution: throughout southeastern Europe

Ursini’s Viper, or Orsini’s Viper, or Meadow Viper (Vipera ursinii).  Distribution: This snake can be found in south-eastern France, central Italy, west Balkans (former Yugoslavia), northern Greece, Albania, Bulgaria, Romania, Hungary, and Germany.  

Lataste’s Viper or Snub-nosed Viper, Snub-nosed Adder (Vipera latastei).  Distribution: This viper occurs in the extreme southwestern Europe – France, Portugal and Spain- and northwestern Africa – the Mediterranean region of Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia.

Seoane’s Viper or Baskian Viper, Iberian Cross Adder, Portuguese Viper (Vipera seoanei).  Distribution: extreme southwestern France and the northern regions of Spain and Portugal (Basque country, mountains of Galicia and Cantabrici).

Ottoman viper, Turkish Viper, Rock Viper, Coastal Viper, Near East Viper, Mountain Viper (Vipera xanthina).  Distribution: a widely distributed species which occurs in northeastern Greece and European Turkey, as well as in some Aegean Sea islands (Simi, Kos, Kalimnos, Leros, Lipsos, Patmos, Samos, Chios and Lesbos). Its population is presumed to be quite large.

Nikolsky’s Adder or Forest-steppe Adder (Vipera nikolskii).  Distribution: endemic to central Ukraine.

Milos viper (Macrovipera schweizeri).  Distribution: Greek viper, limited to the islands of Milos, Kimolos, Polyaigos, and Sifnos.

McMahon’s viper Eristicophis macmahonii.  Distribution: West Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Common cobra Naja naja.  Distribution: All of Asia.

Green tree pit viper Trimeresurus gramineus.  Distribution: India, Burma, Malaya, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, Indonesia, and Formosa.

King cobra Ophiophagus hannah.  Distribution: Thailand, southern China, Malaysia Peninsula, and Philippines.

Krait Bungarus caeruleus.  Distribution: India, Sri Lanka, and Pakistan.

Malayan pit viper Callaselasma rhodostoma.  Distribution: Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Java, Sumatra, Malaysia, Vietnam, Burma, and China.

Russell’s viper Vipera russellii.  Distribution: Sri Lanka, south China, India, Malaysian Peninsula, Java, Sumatra, Borneo, and surrounding islands.

Wagler’s pit viper or temple viper Trimeresurus wagleri.  Distribution: Malaysian Peninsula and Archipelago, Indonesia, Borneo, the Philippines, and Ryuku Islands.

Habu pit viper Trimeresurus flavoviridis.  Distribution: Okinawa and neighboring islands and Kyushu

Hominid diet is also a factor here. Many primates eat eggs, regardless of type and including snake eggs.

Further, eating snakes cannot be precluded. Mistakes here would be fatal. Many snakes, including many of the above, are attracted to areas of human habitation. Clearly, these all are factors in risk and fear.” ~ Chris Aristides Pappas


*** “I do not consider dominators as true predators. Those individual creatures who “prey” upon their own are better characterized as Cannibals.” ~ Chris Aristides Pappas