You Want to talk to my dawg?!?

Finally happened.  Phone rang.  Caller asked to speak to Lila.

“You want to speak to Lila?  Who is this?”

“Lila may be eligible…”

“I suspect she’s quite ineligible for most offerings that come in by telephone.”

“Excuse me.  Is this Lila Bea’s residence?”

“Yes.  Yes, it is.”

“Then, may I speak to her, please?”

“Well, you can speak to her, but I’m afraid she’ll understand very little of what you might say to her.”

“Sir, I speak several languages.”

“Good.  Do you speak Dawg?


“Dawg.  Lila Bea is a dawg.  She’ll understand a few simple commands: sit, lie down, shake hands, and responds rather well when asked if she’d care for a biscuit, or an ice cube.  But if…”


I looked around.  Lila Bea was grooming herself, completely unaware how close she came to getting a discounted Caribbean cruise; a lower interest rate on her credit card balance, or being allowed to express her opinion of all the members of her breed that are currently seeking to hold public office.  As the day progressed, Sir Benson Zipper Dee Doo Dah received not a single email, text, or telephone call.  By the way he ignores me while running wildly up the street whenever he gets loose, I suspect he’s on the “no call” list.



5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Wayne Casasanta on September 17, 2015 at 4:02 am

    Van, I am surprised and disappointed that you did not “milk” this situation to keep the telemarketer on the phone for at least 30 minutes, before divulging her true identify.


    • Posted by thevanbrown on September 17, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      You’re right, Wayne. I’m ashamed. By letting them go, they were freed to pursue the agonies of other dawgs, cats, and parakeets all over the world. Please forgimme.


  2. This is so funny Van. I thought you’d try a bit of ‘dawg’ yourself to keep things going for a while!


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