Curb Your Candidate and Your Congressman!

“I don’t mind what Congress does, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses.”  -Victor Hugo

Many American politicians have become nervous over the press showing so much interest in “proof of proper birth” records.  But this isn’t so new.  It has been a constant state of affairs for a long time.  Legend says Rome was founded by boys raised by a mother wolf, though not her progeny.  With political leaders today, the relationship may be much closer to the wolf than previously surmised.

History shows that people often have referred to those who to jump to center stage during the transfer of power game as being the illegitimate produce of mongrel mothers, and in some cases, charges of incest have been made.  There is usually some kind of double standard in place making it only acceptable to use in reference to the opposition, and never to one’s own party (except during primaries).

I’ve actually heard all of these references used together in a single sentence, and heard it frequently enough to suspect there must a consensus held by many.  More and more, the unemployed and the under-employed use such terms as applicable to the leadership of all major parties inclusively.

Emotionally, it appears to ring true sometimes, but I’ve never actually seen any scientific data that would back up cross species breeding practices.  But other data points to responsibility standards not much above those you’d expect from a pack of wild dogs–the principle difference being that dogs generally do less damage to the environment.

If a dog is not wearing a collar (some red; some blue), it may be hard to tell where he’s coming from.  But the lack of a collar doesn’t make one less of a dog, does it?  Because of all the hoopla over the national correctness of the fine pillars of our communities, the American Kennel Club and animal shelters all over the country have been inundated with unprecedented requests for birth records, background checks, certifications and other kinds of documentation.

The problem is, with the importance of building prisons and making war being such high priorities, our various local, state and federal governments just cannot make available the funds or staffing to handle the onslaught of these requests.  The more mutts run for office, the more they get elected.  The almost endless supply of what it takes to feed them may have something to do with the trend.  To get all the dogs identified and tagged correctly is an expensive nightmare.  It makes you wonder if those in charge of funding have something to hide.

There are folks who worry, and rightfully so, that some with pedigrees used for security and attack purposes may be becoming overly inbred.  In those cases, proof of the legitimacy of birth may only have nominal benefit and be of poor value in the long run.  And it does call into question the perceived overuse and misuse of the terms: “ladies and gentlemen”.

This is due primarily from the continuing downward spiral of useful and practical instinctive traits, and basic intelligence, which is often the downside to poor breeding.  It is getting hard to find a good team of huskies to pull the sled, and even harder to find one who will be the pack leader.  They all seem too busy smelling each other to show any interest in serious work, or any work at all that would benefit those of us who might want the sled to go anywhere.

For lines to be drawn clearly defining linkage continues to be a concern for many Americans not just over matters of birth, but for matters of representation as well.  Some voters think representatives should represent the people who elected them rather than representing whoever can pay for re-election campaigns.  But that may be carrying it a little too far: it could lead to prejudicial preferences to the benefit of working breeds over the sporting breeds.  But of course you and I will never expect to see that happen.

Then, there is the matter that obedience training has been a complete and dismal failure overall.  That they jump up with muddy paws; hump with indiscretion, and chase after what they want personally and never fetching anything that is not self-serving, is commonplace.  Besides behaving hurtfully to the population at large, they act viscously towards each other.  Due to the behavior of several recent congresses, our court systems may owe an apology to Michael Vick.  More and more, it seems to be truly a bi-partisan trend.

Some are opportunistic scavengers true to their ancestry.  They rush to the scene to pick clean the bones of whatever falls victim, prepared to take credit or pass blame depending on whatever appears popular at the time.  If there are ambiguities, they’ll just lay down and roll in it for awhile, only to jump up later and run whichever way the wind is blowing.  That seems to have been a long time practice, but until recently, I’ve never noticed any of them to put roadkill on the top of their heads and brag about it.

Foaming at the mouth is so common now, that it seems the norm rather than the exception.  Sensible people might suspect a possible rabies epidemic.  But there are so few sensible people, so it seems to go unnoticed.

Personally, I don’t mind politicians as long as they are muzzled, have had all their shots, and are kept on short leashes.  I just wish our major corporations and banking institutions would act a little more responsibly with their pets so the rest of us wouldn’t have to watch our step so closely.

But the problem goes far beyond the issues of the legitimacy of our public servants.  I went to the mall the other day, and I could not find a single pair of boxer shorts that were born in this country.  Maybe I’m just placing too much importance on labels, but I will not have been the first person to have done that.

Some of my thoughts may have to do with the fact that I was raised in a part of the country where textiles were such an integral part of the culture, and a way of life for so many.  But whenever I visit back home, I see none of that culture still thriving.  I guess it is only a memory now, or maybe it was just a dream.

2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Jane Leonard on May 21, 2011 at 11:55 am

    You are the best Van! Thanks for the laughter!


  2. Posted by little d on May 24, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Vantastic VanTwain !!!!!!


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